We’ve all read it. We’ve all written it. The overexplanation. Even published books are rife with it (though I’ll bet, not many bestsellers are.) Is it small? Subtle? Often. But enough of it sprinkled in your writing will invite skimming. And as Margie Lawson says, skimming is death to a novel. She’s not wrong.

But it’s insidious. There are MANY forms of Authorsplaining, and they creep in when you’re not looking. Here are a few, and how to spot and banish them:

• Overdescribing –It’s easy to get carried away with descriptions – you’re seeing it in your head and using pretty words to paint a picture. But if it’s something the reader has seen/knows, don’t go into great detail. You can never describe a sunset over the ocean better than your memory, and your reader has most likely witnessed one (or many.) See how that can invite skimming?

Take for example, a high school dance. You can just sketch in broad strokes the streamers hanging from the gym ceiling…after all, we’ve all been to one, so we don’t need a ton of detail on decorations – just enough to show us they tried to convert the gym to something magical. And that effort always fails, right? Show that.

There are exceptions to this – mostly in Fantasy, Sci-Fi and Historical genres, where we’re not familiar with the item/scene you’re describing. But still, don’t be carried away, or your reader will lose interest. They didn’t pick up your regency to learn how many spokes make up a phaeton carriage wheel.

• Circling back –This is something I see a lot. You say something, then move on, then come back and give more info, then circle back again to the same subject. This really irritates a reader. They feel like you think they’re not smart enough to get it the first time.

If you find yourself doing this, I’ll bet it’s because you’ve found a better way to say it, the second time. If so, cut the first, or combine the best of both – it’ll be more powerful.

Example:

Sean looks over from where he’s heaving junk out of the closet. “Seriously? We have a houseful of stuff to get rid of, and you want to keep old newspaper clippings? Just trash them.”

Then, a few lines later:

“Do I have to beg you? Please, ditch the newspaper clippings.”

Can you see that the reader knows what he’s referring to, so you can just say, ‘ditch them.’ Or, better yet, just ‘Please.’ Trust that your reader will know what you’re talking about.

• Thoughts –Have you ever felt trapped in a character’s head, and you can’t wait to get out? Most of the time (unless you’re in Hannibal Lecter’s head) I think this is because you’re writing the mundane, everyday thoughts. We have way too many of those in our own heads—we don’t want to read about your character’s.

I have one rule about this: only show thoughts the reader couldn’t guess!

• Showing then telling – We could argue all day about show vs. tell, but that’s for another What you never want to do (and I see often) is show AND tell.

Example:

The author just described a snow-covered landscape outside.

A chill seeped through the glass. Becky rubbed her goose-bumped arms.

The author told, then showed. We know snow is cold. If she has goose bumps, we know it’s from a chill.

Another:  She was steaming with frustration. He was always late.  “Why can’t you ever be on time?”

Authorsplaining is as irritating to read as it is to hear in real life. It seems hard to notice at first, but once you get used to spotting it, you can’t unsee it.

Write on!

 

*this was originally posted on Writers in the Storm Blog: https://bityl.co/RBZ0